So you’ve been gigging the hell out of 2016, you’ve travelled, met some amazing performers and left a trail of glitter (literally) everywhere you’ve been. Unfortunately all the fun and good time has left your professional life a little worse for wear and every time you’ve opened your burly case, you’ve been reminded of a little something you’ve been meaning to do… Lily Laudanum reveals the top 10 New Years resolutions that every performer needs!
1. I must regularly tackle the dreaded make-up bag… Yes, every time you’ve opened your make-up bag, glitter, powder and potions have been spilled. You’ve said in your head, ‘I’ll wash it out after this weekend’s round of shows’ but sure enough, come Thursday night, you’ve opened the bag and let out that sigh. 2017 is also the year you vow to actually wash your make-up brushes and foundation sponge and throw out those false eyelashes (you know, the ones you’ve picked off the glue and re-used for most of 2016)
2. I must upgrade my costumes… You’ve been promising the costume upgrade to yourself since you made the act (and hastily made make-do pieces until you had time to ‘do them properly… and that was oooh- how long ago?).
3. In 2017 I promise myself no late night ebay random purchases that in my head, at the time of clicking ‘place bid’ I think are an absolute bargain and I will use for an act “sometime in the future…”
4. I will clear out that hoard of late night ebay purchases that have built up in the spare room that will never make it into acts or anywhere near a stage before my partner or the local police report me to The Hoarder Next Door help programme
5. I will update my burly CV and apply for more shows and festivals (note to self – the closing date for applications of London Burlesque Festival is January 15!)
6. I will get myself a new case because the one I’ve struggled (wrestled!) with for most of the year has wheels that make pushing a shopping trolley a piece of piss.
7. I will resolve to allow others (you know the random strangers who rush over with offers of aid) to help with my case instead of saying (through gritted teeth) “No, thanks’ because turning up at shows swearing, shaking, sweating and stinking of deep heat (due to pulled muscles) as you’ve struggled up stairs, huffed and heaved along highways and lugged into luggage racks is not a glamorous look.
8. I will have a dry January and step away from the glitter, because the cat, partner and hoover bag have seen more metallic shimmer than a Slade tribute band performing at a disco dust convention.
9. To throw away rubbish! 2017 is the year I will no longer step onto the stage wearing stockings that have holes where there are not meant to be holes, safety pants that have gone grey in the wash or wigs where the style has gone awol. I will throw away dance shoes that have danced their last (but I’ve been convincing myself that the strap can be fixed or the hanging off heel can be glued) and the plumes that have turned to doom. I will also ditch the acts that I no longer enjoy (after all, what’s the point in performing them if they fill me with dread?)
10. To make more MORE! 2017 is the year for making ‘more is more’ my motto! More crystals! More hair! More make up! More interaction with the audience! More shows! More apres-show prosecco! More fabulous!
Winner of the World Burlesque Games 2015 British Crown, Lilly Laudanum performs regularly across the
UK and is best known for her portrayal of comedy character acts with a historical edge. Performing for 20+ years, Lilly has fronted many bands, been a character model and actress and enjoyed a four-year stint at The London Dungeon, where she performed and ran the actors company. She is also a professional costumier, belly dancer, resident performer and producer of the’ Bluestocking Lounge in South Wales.